BONDing Is Hazardous
by janrea
Summary: Prompt: Spy! Blaine with oblivious-boyfriend Kurt   maybe because of his connection to Blaine, Kurt gets hurt or kidnapped by the bad guys. Might be slightly cracky   sorta crossover...? XD


Title: BOND-ing Is Hazardous

Pairing: Kurt x Blaine

Rating: PG-13, with some mild violence from Blaine's part.

Summary: For this prompt submitted by **4leaf_clover** in the **kurt_blaine** community: _Spy! Blaine with oblivious-boyfriend Kurt + maybe because of his connection to Blaine, Kurt gets hurt or kidnapped by the bad guys. _Might be slightly cracky + sorta crossover...? XD

A/N: It's freaking 3 am in the morning my place, and I've been awake since yesterday 6am. I literally can't sleep because I've got a dreadful stomach bug, stumbled across the prompt post, and decided to just fill the first prompt I see in the last page. Anyway, **4leaf_clover**, hope you liked this, and sorry if it's a bit different from your expectations.

Also, my fics are un-betaed, so sorry for any grammer/spelling mistakes! 3

~Start~

Kurt can't help but think that something is wrong with him. Ever since he and Blaine had gotten together, they had been inseparable, and since their relationship was based on honesty, they tell each other all the details in their life, up and including what they had for dinner-described to the utmost precision.

The rest of the ND members find it amusing and sweet that they are so obviously in love with each other, but they also feel sickeningly jealous and irritated by it at the same time.

Not that Kurt cared about their opinions, seeing that he and Blaine had been dating for almost a year now, and that officially made them the longest lasting Glee club couple of all time. Even Mike and Tina had broken up twice due to petty arguments, and Finn and Rachel's dizzy dance around each other had confused all of them to such a point that they had decided to just stop tallying the amount of times they argued-and-broke-up-and-then-got-together when they hit the double digit of 12. And this all happened in the span of a short nine months.

But back to the problem at hand: Kurt thinks there is something wrong with him.

There must be, because his senses are freakishly accurate, and he just _knows_that Blaine is hiding something from him.

It started right after they had that Bond movie marathon last month (which Blaine had insisted on). Kurt didn't recall any odd or weird things that he did during and after watching the films, but Blaine just seemed occupied and lost in his thoughts after. Then began the continuous cycle of Blaine staring at him with that look, the patented-Blaine-look which screamed: _I've got something that I really want to tell you!, _which will most undoubtedly be followed up by another trademarked-Blaine-expression of: _I'm keeping something from you, oh-so-much-guilt! _whenever he caught Kurt catching him looking at Kurt.

Kurt had waited patiently, for nearly two weeks, before finally snapping at Blaine during one of his anguished-and-conflicted stares at Kurt.

"That's it, Blaine Anderson!" He had shouted, shutting his Physics textbook with a resounding thud.

Blaine immediately sat up straight, knowing that whenever Kurt called him Blaine _Anderson_, and not Blaine _Warbler_, it would inexplicably mean that he was in deep, deep shit.

Kurt levelled his most bitch-please glare at his boyfriend, and said sternly: "Now, I know that you've been wanting to tell me something for weeks now, so if you would cease moping and get on with it, it would be very nice. Because all this?" He gestured with a vague wave of his hand over Blaine's head, "is seriously cutting into our making-out sessions. And I would really like my boyfriend to be smiling at me instead of staring into space and frowning and sighing whenever we are together."

Blaine blinked, opened his mouth, but no words came out. He snapped them shut a moment later, a flush creeping up his neck. Breaking his gaze from Kurt's intensed stare, he looked down at his hands, and with a strangled sound, said: "Kurt-I-" He gulped, and then pushed himself off the chair, "I-I can't do this, I'm so, so sorry Kurt, I need more time, I can't tell you."

Kurt couldn't believe it. He and Blaine had always been completely honest with each other regarding every single thing in their lives, and he just couldn't think of anything which Blaine would be so hesitant to tell him. A sudden thought passed through his head, and his jaw dropped.

"Oh my god." He muttered. "Oh my god, oh my Gucci, and Prada, and Gaga!" He shouted, and Blaine looked visibly surprised, but Kurt wasn't fooled. "You're, you're going to break up with me, aren't you?" He said, tone stating that it wasn't a question, his voice trembling as he did so.

Blaine's eyes widened. "No, no! What are you saying, Kurt! Why would I want to break up with you?"

"You aren't breaking up with me?" Kurt blinked, then in a horrified tone, said: "Blaine, did you cheat on me? Is that why you can't bring yourself to tell me?"

"What? NO! No, I didn't cheat on you, why would you think that?" Blaine asked incredulously.

"Well, it's the only thing I could think of that would make you reluctant to tell me." Kurt replied morosely.

Blaine's face paled, and shakily, he said: "No, no Kurt. I'm in love with you okay, I don't ever want to leave you, probably even if you told me to go away. And I would definitely never cheat when I have such a gorgeous and perfect boyfriend like you, so don't ever think like that again, okay?"

Kurt nodded, "Then why won't you tell me what's bothering you?"

Blaine grimaced. "I just, I need more time, okay? I'll tell you when I'm ready, but not now. I can't-Just not now."

With that said, Blain turned and fled from Kurt's room.

* * *

><p>Two weeks later, after numerous turned down dates and missed phone calls and shortened and awkward-Skype-video calls, Kurt decided again that enough was enough. He missed his boyfriend like hell, and for some odd reason, the rest of the Glee club was as morose as Kurt was that the both of them aren't getting on well with each other.<p>

Kurt decided that he needed to have a talk with Blaine, before the rest of the Glee club members take it upon themselves to stage an intervention-which would be awkward and sure-to-fail, like all of their plans.

He wanted to tell Blaine that it's okay if he wasn't ready to tell him about this _thing_, whatever it was, and that Kurt just wanted Blaine back with him, and for Blaine to stop feeling guilty and then shying away from him, because Kurt didn't mind waiting, at all. He would willingly wait for Blaine, because Kurt loves him, and respects and trusts Blaine to tell him when he's ready.

It puts a huge wrench into his plan though, when he gets kidnapped on his way to Dalton Academy.

* * *

><p>Blaine is frustrated, and disappointed, and angry, and sad, and did he mentioned frustrated?-at himself. At his parents. At his friends. At Dalton. Hell, at the whole world even.<p>

He had been avoiding Kurt for a little bit over two weeks now, and it kills him to do it, but he just can't face Kurt, knowing that he's intentionally hiding something from Kurt, the guilt was just too much to bear.

He wants to tell Kurt, just so much, but he's afraid of Kurt's reaction. What if Kurt hates him? What if Kurt thinks he's a freak? What if Kurt's afraid of him? And oh god, what if Kurt doesn't believe him and think he's a delusional psycho and will break up with him. Then Blaine will go crazy without Kurt, would go insane without Kurt's smiles and hugs and kisses and voice and presence...And Blaine will probably go beserk, and then he will become one of those crazy black-ops guys who kills and kills because they have no soul and no love in their life. Or maybe he will turn dark, become a traitor, and wreak havoc on the world, because he's bitter and has lost all hope in the world without Kurt, and then oh god, Wes and David and even his parents would have to be sent out to take care of him, and it will undoubtedly be even more angsty in the final showdown, and he will die, a painful, horrible, _lonely_death, because he's no match for his parents...Even though he could definitely take down David and Wes in any showdown.

His musings however, were interrupted, when someone hit his head with a book.

Looking up, he saw Wes and David hovering over him, and sighed deeply.

"Are you guys coming to detain me because you've inevitably seen the dark path that I will be taking in the future?" He asked, a brave potrait of a hero about to embark on a self-sacrificing quest.

Wes and David blinked at him, and then they both sat down beside him on the couch. Once settled, Wes smacked him over the head with his thick copy of _101 Ways To Bug Your Enemy's Home Without Them Knowing It_ and Blaine winces, thinking that there might be some poetic justice at him being killed by the source of his plagues with Kurt, the plague that will undoubtedly send him spiralling towards the _Dark Side_.

"Will you cease all of your stupid, moronic and childish whimpering thoughts this _instant_?" Wes cooly intones, and Blaine takes in Wes' stern and no-nonsense face, together with the hand caressing the spine of the book ominously like one would a weapon, and wisely chose to remain silent.

"Now, it has come to my attention that your constant, futile, and totally _unneccessary_ angsting over whether you should tell Kurt about the fact that you are a _spy_ is bringing down both your regular and _undercover_academic results. Therefore, David and I have taken it upon ourselves to stage an intervention." Wes said, again in that slow and nauseously placating voice that one would use on a five year old, and Blaine opened his mouth to protest, but one sharp look from Wes had him snapping his jaw shut immediately.

"Right." David pipes up beside him. "You should just tell him, man. Kurt is cool, and he will definitely accept you for who you are. I really don't get why you're so afraid of this."

"I just, I just can't. What if he hates me? Having a top-secret-undercover-agent for a boyfriend isn't exactly a normal dream now is it? What if he thinks I'm not worth the trouble? Knowing the truth would put him in danger too, I don't know if I can do that to him..." Blaine trailed off, a lump forming in his throat.

Wes looked at him. And sighed. He set the book down on the table in front of them, and said: "Blaine, do you love Kurt?"

Blaine's eyes snapped up to his. "What?"

"I said, do you love Kurt?"

"Of course I love Kurt! Why would you even ask that?"

Wes' eyes shifted into a sharp stare, "If you truly love him, then you should trust him. You should trust your relationship with him. Tell him, Blaine, you have to believe in him, and in yourself, that both of you will not change because of this. He deserves to know."

Blaine looked away. "But I..."

David rolled his eyes. "For god sakes, Blaine! You are the top agent among all of us! You braved shady criminals, dodge bullets and poisonous darts, take down men twice your size, and bring foreign spies and terrorists to justice, and you're afraid of telling Kurt a simple truth?"

Blaine muttered: "Well, when you put it like that..."

Wes flung his hands up, obviously frustrated, and snapped: "Look. You can mope all you want, you can decide whatever you want, it doesn't concern us either way. But I'll tell you one thing, if you keep up this avoidance and dishonest act, you are going to lose Kurt! You understand me? So don't come crying to us then!"

Blaine's face took on a fierce and hard expression. "_Lose Kurt?_" He remained silent for a moment, before abruptly standing up.

"I'm telling him."

Wes and David both gave out relieved exclaimations of "Finally!"

Blaine grinned at them, knowing for certain now what he must do, and what he wanted to do. "Thanks guys, I'm going to Kurt's and telling him right now."

"Uh guys, about Kurt..."

They turned around, and there was Jeff, leaning against the door, his uniform and blond hair even dishevelled than usual. He was panting, like he had just ran all the way there.

"About Kurt, we've just received news that he had been kidnapped."

"What?" Blaine, Wes and David exclaimed.

Jeff nodded seriously. "Remembered the mafia case you're handling, Blaine?" Blaine nodded, a sinking feeling growing in the pits of his stomach.

"Well, it appears that they were the ones who took Kurt."

Blaine's whole stance shifted, and Wes, David and Jeff instinctually took a step back.

Blaine didn't care, because all he knew at that moment, was that they had took Kurt.

They had took _his _Kurt.

Blaine saw red.

* * *

><p>Kurt was absolutely bewildered.<p>

One minute, he was driving like a person possessed, so determined he was, to talk to Blaine.

The next, some black cars appeared out of no where, blocked his road, pulled him out of his car, and put a weird smelling cloth over his face.

Now, regaining conscious, he could see that he was tied down on a metal chair, and was currently in a shady room, with what seemed to be ten thugs scattered around the room.

His head throb, and his mind was fuzzy, but the rage that bubbled up to the surface immediately was sharp and clear.

He had _enough_! First, his boyfriend goes weird on him. Then he avoids him like a plague. And just when he had decided to amend things once and for all, his plans had to be thwarted! Just because some ill-fashioned, unfortunate-looking group of men decided that it would be _fun_to snatch him off the street!

Kurt Hummel didn't swear, like ever. But special circumstances called for special measures.

"Just what the _fucking_hell do you guys think you're doing?" He said, calmly. But the coldness of his voice, accompanied by the sharp and high tone he used, was enough to send every single thug in the room turning to look at him.

One of them, a man with an atrocious beard, wearing what could only be described as a fashion travesty-worst-than-Rachel's, decided to open his mouth, which was a bad choice. The worst choice that one could do really, for anyone who knew Kurt, because it would just enraged the counter-tenor even more.

"Well, what d'ya think? Sweet cheeks? You're being held hostage. Ain't 'zat simple ta' see?"

Kurt's glare intensified. And the man visibly coiled backwards from the fierce intensity in them.

"Apart from your appalling lack of grasp at the proper pronunciation that is the English language, it would appear that your brain is similarly damaged in such an irreparable fashion, that I fear that you must have been dropped on the head as a baby, multiple times. This would certainly explained your unfortunate, and utterly displeasing demeanour and expression, and would also account for the horrendous lack of common sense and good judgement for fashion that any simple plebian with a functioning brain would have. That would make you more of an unfortunate, overgrown neanderthal who has obviously decided that its life's achievements is to be a shady looking henchman." Kurt stated in a soft, almost calm voice, but the sarcasm was thick and obvious.

The thugs all stared at him incredulously.

"Don't worry, I'm perfectly certain that you will find someone of the same appalingly low caliber, and live a wholly atrocious life together. But do please, don't drop your baby on it's head when you do have one, it would be most unfortunate if they were to become exactly like you now, don't you think?" Kurt said pleasantly, and smiled his sweetest and most innocent smile ever.

The man blinked, as did his friends, obviously trying to make out what Kurt was saying. "Uh, thanks?" He mumbled finally.

Kurt smiled sweetly back at him. "You're so welcome. Now, this chair is really wholly uncomfortable and utterly harmful to the spine for any long periods of sitting on them. I see a couch over there, would you be so kind as to keep me tied up over there? It would be so much more comfortable, don't you think?"

The man blinked again. Kurt resisted the urge to both sigh and bitch at the guy. "Well?" He prompted, using his best I'm-A-Far-More-Superior-Being-So-You-Must-Do-As-I-Say-voice.

"Um, yeah. Bill, Joe, help 'im o'er there now, would'ya?" He ordered. Kurt smirked inwardly, seemed like the guy was the leader.

Two burly guys came over and retied his bonds, they then hauled hin up, none too gently, and deposited him onto the couch. Kurt sneered at them, then turned his attention back to the leader.

"So," He drawled, "Is there a reason why I'm being hauled so barbarically here, or is it just a past time that your sort love to do?"

Leader blinked. And Kurt rolled his eyes, because was there anything else this man could do besides blinking and speaking deplorable English?

"Well?" Kurt snapped, not even bothering to disguise his bitchy tone.

"Oh, erm. well. it's 'bout your boyfriend, yer see..."

"_Blaine_?" Kurt said unbelievingly.

"Well, yeah. Don't know nothin' much 'bout it, just zat ee' was makin' trouble for da Boss, ya know? So da Boss kinda wanted 'im ter stop, and well, Boss said zat it would be useful taking yer, so we did." Leader muttered.

Kurt stared at the bunch of brawly guys in front of him, frowning. "I think you've got the wrong person. Blaine is just a student, he's my age, he couldn't possibly be doing anything remotely connected to the mafia."

Leader shifted awkwardly at Kurt's piercing glare. "Er, well. It's true though, brought down four of us operations just this month 'lone! Pretty sneaky fer a boy yer age, but Boss says it's to be expected, with 'im coming from such an infamous family."

Kurt shook his head. "You're kidding me. _Blaine_?"

But Leader nodded solemnly, and Kurt was definitely confused now.

A phone rang, and Kurt watched as Leader pulled one out from his jeans pocket, answering with a grunt.

"Boss? Ya, ya, we've got 'im ere. What? Nothin' just talkin to 'im." Kurt could tell that it was the wrong thing to say when furious yelling sounded over the phone, and the man's face paled. "No, Boss, ain't like that at all! What? Hurt the boy?" He glanced sideways at Kurt, and Kurt put on his best pleading stare. The man's determination visibly wavered. "Are...Are ya sure, Boss? Couldn't we just, like threaten him or somethin'? No? Ya, ya...'Kay then."

Leader turned back at him, and Kurt could see from his expression what was going to happen. The man pulled out a knife.

"S'ry, ain't personal or anythin', just the Boss' orders ya see."

Kurt stared back fiercely, refusing to cower or whimper.

The knife inched closer to his neck, until it was placed just lightly at the side of it.

A loud explosion sounded, and Kurt jolted, as did the Leader, his knife nicking Kurt's neck as he did so, and a thin stripe of red blossomed across Kurt's neck.

Kurt winced slightly. But looked up over at the side where the wall had been blown literally into pieces, he saw that he was obviously kept in the back room of a pub of some sort, and the wall was separating both parts.

Grey smoke shrouded the air, and Kurt coughed lightly.

Blinking, he squinted at the smoke, his eyes rapidly widening as a familiar figure strode forward.

The smoke cleared, just slightly, as the person stepped over the ruined wall and into the room.

"Blaine?" Kurt couldn't help but shout out, and hazel eyes immediately shifted to him. Kurt felt his throat dry up even as his mind went weirdly heavy and his heart started into a mad race of rhythm.

Blaine was a sight to behold. He looked almost like an avenging angel, the way he was wearing all black, with his ungelled hair tousled in a very, _very_attractive manner. What's most significantly different, however, was the cold look on his face. Blaine seemed to be emitting an ominous and vengeful aura, and Kurt couldn't help but marvel at this new side to his boyfriend.

Blaine's gaze softened with relief at seeing Kurt, but when his gaze flickered down to the blood on his neck, a dark shadow took over his expression, and Kurt couldn't help but shiver, and he suspected that it wasn't fear that he was shivering from, but from the sharp jolt of want and arousal that sent tremors down his spine, in a _very_good way.

Four guys were down the next moment, and when Kurt blinked, he could see the gun in Blaine's hand. The men weren't killed, however, merely wounded in the leg, and Kurt's jaw dropped at the casual display of skills. Blaine strode forward, side stepping a man who rushed forward with a knife and slamming his arm down in a swift slice onto the man's neck, knocking him unconscious. The next two were punched squarely in the face, followed by a series of hits to the abdomen, and then they were down too, groaning in pain. Kurt saw the rest two henchmen pulling out guns, and fear gripped his heart, he opened his mouth to shout a warning, but a silver glint was all he saw before both of them tumbled down too, guns knocked away and knives protruding from their thighs.

Kurt vaguely wondered if he should find all of this _hot_, but was disturbed from his trail of thoughts as Blaine was in front of him, the Leader clutched by the neck, and obviously struggling against Blaine's grip.

Blaine leveled a heated glare at the man, before turning to Kurt and asked: "Was it him who cut you?" Blaine's tone was deadly and calm, like the rest of his appearance, but Kurt felt as if he could sense all the rage and fury surpressed behind it.

Kurt nodded, and Blaine's eyes narrowed. Knowing what Blaine was about to do, Kurt surged forward and bumped his arm firmly. "It's okay, Blaine, I'm okay. Don't kill him, please?"

Blaine didn't look at him, but he stiffened for a split second before nodding. With a well aim jab of his arm, the Leader slumped down, obviously just knocked out.

Blaine turned and looked at him, his expression indifferent for a moment before it just crumbled, and Kurt could see the relief, joy, loving, and tender look that took over Blaine's face, before a glint of panic set in Blaine's eyes, and his boyfriend visibly trembled before letting out a choked sob, and pulled Kurt into a tight embrace.

Blaine's hands roamed over Kurt's body, as if he had to make sure that Kurt was still there, and that he was unharmed. When he was certain of it, he took out a knife and sliced through the ropes binding Kurt. Kurt hugged him back with the same degree of ferocity, just needing to feel _Blaine_.

After a while, Blaine pulled back, and just gazed at Kurt so reverently, almost disbelieving, that it made Kurt just dizzy from Blaine's stare alone. The next moment, Blaine was kissing him, dropping small but possessive kisses all over his face, and his neck, and on his head.

Kurt could only shiver in want and a strong sense of security, clutching Blaine tighter as he did so.

It could have only been minutes, or even hours, that they stood there, but with one final, lingering kiss on his mouth, Blaine caressed his hair as he pulled back, and looked Kurt straight in the eye. He said: "Kurt, there's something that I have to tell you."

Kurt nodded.

"I'm a spy." When Kurt just looked back at him, without even a trace of confusion, Blaine blinked and barelled on with his explanation. "Actually, the more accurate term is that I'm a secret agent, kind of like James Bond, but not that incompetent and flashy. Do you," He cleared his throat, "Do you understand what I'm telling you here?"

Kurt just smiled. "I think this," he gestured at the chaos of the room in general, "already proves it sufficiently."

Blaine frowned. An almost adorable pout on his lips now.

"You mean...Are you okay with it? You don't hate me?"

Kurt laughed, and leaned forward to kiss Blaine softly on the lips. "No, I'm alright."

"Are you sure? I mean, I know it's a lot to take in, and would probably be overwhelming and potentially dangerous for you to continue to date me, but I'll make it worth your while, I love you so much, Kurt, and I will always, always protect you with my life, I definitely won't let any harm come to you. And the Warblers will help, they will look over you so you will be safe. I mean, we _are_trained in this-" Blaine's rambling was cut off with another kiss to his lips.

Kurt's eyes were dancing in amusement. It was a gorgeous sight to behold, and Blaine could only stare, mesmerized.

"You're rambling." Kurt said. "Now, tell me, are you cheating on me, or going to break up with me?"

Blaine shook his head quickly.

Kurt smiled. "Then, I definitely don't hate you. And I'm definitely okay with you being a top secret agent, in fact," Kurt leaned closer until his mouth was just beside Blaine's ear. "_in fact_, I think I find you overwhelmingly _hot_when you're in your agent-mode."

Kurt moved back and flashed Blaine a seductive smile.

Blaine shivered, both with relief at Kurt's acceptance, and with the surge of arousal coursing through his veins.

"_Kurt_." He muttered breathlessly, and was about to go in for a kiss when David's crackling sound slashed through his perfect moment.

"Codename: Junior Smith. Is everything okay? The Boss has been dealt with, do you need backup over there?"

Blaine groaned, but took out an earpiece and put it in his ear. "Yes, Kurt's safe, but send a cleaning team to take care of these thugs. They're all pretty much wounded and unconscious."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Savvy." Blaine only grinned back at him.

"Although, why do they call you 'Junior Smith'? And are all the Warblers actually secret-agents as well?" Kurt asked, an adorably confused look on his face.

Blaine laughed and circled Kurt's waist with his arm, pulling him in closer. "Yeah, most of the Warblers are actually secret-agents. There are actually a few more from normal students, but basically all of Dalton knows, because while most of them aren't training to be field agents, a large part of them are training to work as desk, R&D and technical agents. And those minority who aren't involve are all children of high ranking agents, so they know about us anyway. You can say that we are the school for spy training and agent's children, if you like."

Kurt nodded understandingly, and asked: "What about your codename? Any significance behind it?"

Blaine shrugged. "Well, my mum and dad's codenames are John and Jane Smith, and they are the Mr. and Mrs. Smith by codename default, so they decided to call me Junior Smith instead."

"Oh, I see." Kurt mumbled, then with a wicked grin, leaned in and said: "Well, _Agent Smith_, I trust you are thinking of ways to _compensate_ me for my _horrible_ and extremely _traumatic _experience?"

Blaine grinned. "_Oh hell yes_."

With that said, he pulled Kurt flushed against his body and kissed his gorgeous and perfect boyfriend thoroughly.

Sometimes, being a secret agent was just _wonderful._

~END~

A/N: Hope you guys liked it~ Comments would be much appreciated~! 3


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